Why Your Curls Don’t Look Like the Ones Online (And Why That’s Okay)

Have you ever followed a curly hair tutorial only to end up with a frizzy mess? You’re not alone. Social media is flooded with “perfect curl” standards that are unrealistic for most people. Many curly hair influencers showcase their hair in a way that makes it seem like their method is the only way to achieve those results. But the truth is, not all curly hair is the same, and what works for one person may not work for you.

The Problem with the Perfect Curl Standard

If you look at popular curly hair tutorials, you’ll notice a common trend: thick, shiny, well-defined curls—usually around a 3B curl pattern. Every curl is in place, and the hair looks moisturized and bouncy. But here’s the reality: this look is not achievable for most people, at least not without hours of work, specific lighting, filters, and careful editing.

Many influencers make a living off their hair content, and their job is to sell the idea that you can achieve their hair results if you use certain products or follow their methods. While some influencers offer great advice, the content is often curated to push an idealized version of curls that doesn’t reflect the variety of natural textures people actually have.

Additionally, many curl types are underrepresented online, particularly looser waves, tighter coils, and finer curls with lower density. The focus tends to be on a narrow range of curl patterns that perform well in content, leaving many people feeling like their hair isn’t “curly enough” or that they’re doing something wrong. This lack of representation can make it even harder for people to find relevant advice that truly works for their hair.

Why Social Media Curls Aren’t Reality

The perfect curls you see online are often the result of:

• Years of practice and experimentation
• Hours of styling, refreshing, and manipulating curls
• Carefully controlled lighting, camera settings, and angles
• Editing and filters that smooth out frizz and enhance shine
• Using multiple products that may not even work for all curl types

Social media algorithms prioritize this “perfect” look, leading many people to believe that if their hair doesn’t turn out the same way, they must be doing something wrong. The truth is, most curly-haired people don’t naturally have that “ideal” curl pattern, and that’s completely fine.

How to Break Free from the Perfect Curl Myth

Instead of getting caught up in unrealistic curl expectations, here are a few things you can do to truly improve your hair:

1. Follow a Variety of Influencers

Many influencers focus on one specific hair type, which can make it seem like their techniques apply to everyone. Instead, follow people with different curl patterns, densities, and porosities. This will expose you to a wider range of haircare routines and help you see that there isn’t just one way to care for curls. Look for influencers with looser waves, tight coils, or finer textures so you can get a better sense of what works for your unique hair.

2. Remember That Photos and Videos Can Be Deceiving

Filters, lighting, and editing make curls appear shinier and more defined than they really are. Even without added filters, many cameras have built-in settings that smooth out frizz. Keep this in mind when watching tutorials—what you see isn’t always what you get in real life.

3. Focus on Your Hair’s Natural Shape

Instead of forcing your hair to match a certain curl type, work with its natural pattern. Whether your hair is wavy, coily, or somewhere in between, your goal should be to improve its health and enhance its natural shape, not to make it look like someone else’s.

4. Stop Following One-Size-Fits-All Routines

Many curly hair routines online involve excessive amounts of product, hydration, and styling steps. While that might work for thick, high-porosity curls, it’s not ideal for finer, low-density, or low-porosity hair. Understanding your own hair’s needs will help you develop a routine that actually works for you.

5. Learn About Your Hair’s Unique Characteristics

Your curl type is just one piece of the puzzle. To find the right products and techniques, you need to consider:

• Porosity: How well your hair absorbs and retains moisture
• Density: How much hair you have overall
• Texture: Whether your strands are fine, medium, or coarse
• Climate: How humidity and weather affect your hair
• Health: Whether your hair is dry, damaged, or in good condition

Keeping a log of what works and what doesn’t can help you pinpoint patterns and adjust your routine accordingly. If you’re unsure about your hair type, you can take a curl quiz to get a better idea of what products and techniques might suit you best.

6. Be Skeptical of Viral Trends

Viral curly hair hacks might not be the miracle solutions they claim to be. Just because something works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for everyone. Instead of immediately jumping on trends, evaluate whether they make sense for your specific hair needs before trying them out.

7. Follow Influencers Who Explain the Science

Rather than blindly following routines, look for influencers who break down the science behind why certain products or techniques work. Understanding the reasoning behind hair care decisions will help you make better choices for your curls.

8. Accept Your Unique Hair Type

At the end of the day, the most important thing is to embrace your natural hair. Whether your curls are loose, tight, thick, thin, frizzy, or anything in between, they are beautiful just as they are. Your hair doesn’t need to look like an influencer’s to be healthy and well-cared for.

Final Thoughts

The curly hair movement has done a lot to encourage people to embrace their natural texture, but it has also set unrealistic beauty standards for curls. If your hair doesn’t match what you see online, don’t stress—it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. The key to great curls isn’t chasing someone else’s results but finding what works best for your unique hair type.

Do you feel like your curl type is underrepresented in the curly hair community? Have you been misled by social media trends? Share your experiences in the comments!